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Pharma’s Pipeline Isn’t Dry After All

Intouch Team

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Happy Monday morning! So it turns out the pharma industry’s pipeline isn’t dry after all. Just take a look at all these amazing new drugs currently in late-stage clinical trials ... (courtesy of my own mother via an email forward... so it must be true, right?)

DAMNITOL

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA’S WORT

Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, ’You make me want to be a better person. ’

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.

Thanks for providing the content, Mom, and whoever started the email string! If you’re in the pharma industry and therefore in need of a laugh from more pharma humor (and who isn’t?), see these past ePharma Rx posts.

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